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Monday, July 21, 2008

Monday Morning

This weekend I--

had lunch with Jeff on South Congress and saw Tabette, one of those friends who you love more than other people you see all the time, but still never bother to make plans with.

Bought the new David Sedaris book at a relaxing baby-free trip to Target. I also bought another murder mystery book that looked predictable and entertaining in case my brain got tired of thinking. It likes to relax too you know. I really really wanted a book called Escape, but I figured one foray into the polygamous Mormon sect of Warren Jeffs was enough for one month. I have my eye on it however. Why do I love to read about women escaping from polygamy? I don't know.

Almost got into a fight with a cancer patient at a bar. I thought she was just making a bad style descision with the allover head scarf thing, or maybe she was Muslim. But cancer or not, she made several snippy sounding comments about Ruby being in the bar( slash resturant, in the middle of the day, beside a gurgling koi fountain and chips and salsa station. Not exactly the same as a hole in the wall full of drunks at midnight, but whatever)
Who turns to the total stranger next to you and says," Aren't you worried about taking your baby to a place where people might be drinking and unpredicatble?" No, I'm clearly not. If I were, I wouldn't be here. Jeff thought she was just making conversation. Why are men so blind to the subtext that runs underneath female to female communication?

Went for the all time fastest swim ever recorded at the dog park part of Barton Springs( local swimming pool that is like dipping your whole body into a glass of freezing ice water because it's fed by springs from an underground lake. The runoff form the pool is used by people who want to swim with their dogs or can't afford the three dollar fee) Jeff and I decided that we were too cheap to pay 6 bucks for the two of us to jump in and out, since we had only ten minutes of babysitting left and had spent all of our cash on sushi and kirin. So we braved the dog park, which is truly a multicultural experience. Past Molester Row, Down the treacherous slimy rocks and concrete, you can find fat naked babies and pit bulls frolicking in the icy water. Truant high school kids, odd looking confederations of deaf people, Mexican guys in tight wife beaters and giant shorts, toothless hobos, the face and neck tattooed and us. I saw a floating band-aid. I saw three arrogantbut girlish boys climb out of the water to reveal their dripping identical sets of tight black skinny jeans and Converse. Why not take the jeans off for the swim? I don't get it. Guys!No one can see your Cool underwater. The best part of that was their underwear, which showed a good two inches between the "waist" of their pants and their half shirts. Hey, Contemporary Young Mens Fashion----I don't like you.
When we got back to our clothes there was a dog pooping about 12 inches from our shoes. He was a big guy, with big poops pumping out, until he got to a piece of grass that wouldn't come out. As he strained his sphincter in our direction I realised I may have aged out of dog island, I may pay the three dollars next time no matter what the expected duration of my swim.
I also thought about a cat I had once that swallowed a very long piece of blue embroidery thread. When she pooped it all came out clumped on the thread, so she would run like a maiac around the house mewling and knocking a long string of poop clumps from side to side until I could catch her and cut it off. For a long time she had that little blue inch of thread sticking out, like a wick.
I tried to tell Jeff that story and he made me stop. " You're making me sick! What is wrong with you?"
I am gross. So what? I did swab my entire body with hydrogen peroxide when I got home.