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Friday, March 20, 2009


This weekend Austin is blessed with a huge event called South by Southwest. It brings together 13000 bands with a city full of drunks on vacation. Music-loving people from all over the country fly here, at their own expense, to stand around drinking and looking bored. Some of them also brush past me, spilling my drink or knocking my shoulder, and do not apologize but instead look me up and down.
In Austin, to admit that you don't enjoy live music is like saying," I don't like babies" Or "I hate your dog" It's a really unpopular statement. Sometimes I ask people," Why don't you just buy the CD, and then listen to it in your own house where you can drink beer comfortably?" and then people look at me like I'm retarded.

I went to a parking lot outside of a bar last night, with the plan of standing around and drinking a beer, because I did want to try to enjoy this huge event like a normal person.
I don't get it. I honestly don't. Fatigue began to drag me down from the first 10 minutes.There weren't even any hotties to look at.
Is there some kind of anorexia craze sweeping the boys of America? Why are you so goddamn skinny all of a sudden? Are they actually dieting? They seem much more image conscious than they were in "my day".I don't like this, not because it's disingenuous, but because affectations like that are FOR GIRLS. It's girlish to put up "sexy' pretenses.I enjoy it in the gays, not so much in the straight ones. But I guess that's it, every generation is annoyed by the next. God knows my parents generation bugs the living shit out of me.
But, I'm glad I am not 21 and trying to date right now.
I remember when Jeff and I were dating. I actually called my friend Martha and said, " You're not going to believe this but-he's not in a band." And then I almost wept with joy, because it's so rare in this town. I knew my sentence of going to my boyfriend's shows every weekend was over. I can't count the number of times a "date" meant watching someone "jam" with their roommate in their living room.
So now, I am not going to pretend that I get it. I will download the Oldies on my Itunes and lie down on my own couch to listen to them. You are welcome to come over and stand in my living room, drink a beer in your skinny jeans and level hostile, bored stares at me.


  1. This IS how it starts . . .Their suddenly appear to be a swarm of silly kids at your favorite bar listening to drivel rather that cool vibes you like. Then before you know it your kid adopts this new facial expression. It begins to irk and then to cringe your ass. Rolled eyes become the standard as little sweet Ruby and her friends get suddenly quiet and furtive whenever you approach. Then the final and unkindest paper cut of all. . . you suddenly notice all those cute tight ass hotties are actually looking at HER! Existential Agony!
    Oh by the way - I have seen your picture and in truth you have a long long time before this universal tragedy brought to us by that bastard TIME is any concern to you but their is no time like now to learn to appreciate all that goofy NEW Stuff creeping in like roaches in a dark kitchen. YUK!
    Actually - This soliloquy is just a little in flight entertainment for me. Brought to you cutesy of one of those annoying fossils echoing ever more faintly from the cavern of your fathers generation. Mea Culpa heh heh
    Hey you little shit you just spilled my ensure!

  2. LOL! I get what you're saying, but I LOVE SXSW. I used to come make the trek to Austin (not that far, actually, I live in DFW) every year, but then the hotels wised up and starting charging outrageous prices for rooms. Haven't been for 3 years now, but I DID make the Metallica show Friday night.....couldn't pass that up. Not and be able to look myself in the eye in the morning.

    All of my Austin-ite friends RUE Sx,'s understandable. I feel for y'all...must be three weeks of hell instead of living in one of the coolest cities in the world.

    And the boys ARE getting too skinny....and they're all Pete Wentz anorexic, greasy dyed hair, eyeliner look alikes, too. What's up with that?

  3. I thought I was the only one that felt that way! What about beer gardens? Couldn't we just stand outside in the driveway and drink a good, cheap beer instead of crap from a plastic cup? Maybe I could spill a little on your shoes to make it more real.

  4. I have to say, I was working at a club on 7th St, and I saw and hung out with some of the most interesting people. They didn't all fit that trendy, or scene style. I saw punk/sci-fi boys with amazing dreadlocks. I saw beautiful girls who were dressed in anything BUT fashionable 6th St garb. Of course, there were the kids with skinny jeans, vests, and rocker hair.
    But all those kids, trendy/weird/punk/scene/whatev, they were real. They were most genuine. The ones who's outfits didn't catch my eye, and those nicely dressed men with their music badges that get them to the front of the line-- those were the assholes of SXSW.
    Maybe that's just where I was at though. *grin*

  5. I'm really glad someone found joy in SXSW.
    We were claerly at the wrong places. I always here that too, "there was this great party you should have gone" when I spent the whole evening in a rocky parking lot getting leered at by old men and drinking crappy beer.
    I think in my last life i was a cat euthenizer or Television pundit and now my karma says I have no fun at all when I go out. It's mandated.
    Anyway, glad you had fun,
    where is that club? maybe I should go there next time.

  6. Yeah once you've been in Austin for a few years SXSW gets kind of...annoying. Or at least I just got kinda tired of hearing everyone asking me 50 times if I was going to "southby". I love Austin though.