A new health food store has opened up down the street, I can't remember the name of it but the sign claims to be "From the Vitamin Cottage".
I love this name. Is it a dwelling fashioned out of vitamins? Is it a house where only vitamins live, perhaps on the cliffs by the Manganese Sea?
" After Vitamin College, the wife and I purchased this Vitamin Cottage."
My mother has a freakishly sensitive sense of smell, and when I was in high school I thought it was really funny to torture her with it. One night after some really big fight with her, I snuck into her bedroom with an exacto knife and cut away a tiny flap in the carpeting under her bead. I inserted a giant B vitamin in the hole and closed it. Do you know that smell? Can you call it up right now?
It drove her crazy. She wandered around like a zombie, getting up multiple times in the middle of the night to vacuum, groggily asking me," Do you smell that?"
"No," I would shrug, barely holding in my glee.
Children are horrible.
Me and the internet
1 day ago