Can it possibly be true that I am the only person who has never seen a ghost?
I just finished reading "Her Fearful Symmetry" by the same woman who wrote The Time Travelers Wife. It was really good.
I am really impressionable.
"I think there is a ghost in the house," I told Jeff."That is why I'm always cold. Also, that explains the missing 400 dollars."
"What are you reading right now?" He eyed me with suspicion.
So I've been thinking about ghosts even though I don't believe in them, or anything, really. I told my friend Sarah this last night.
"There is a ghost attached to my favorite necklace!" she cried."It's in the garage!"
"I took it out to the garage last week because of the ghost."
"Why do you think there is a ghost attached to your necklace?" I asked, feeling crazy for asking, but curious.
"I told my friend that since I got it all of my other necklaces have broken. She took it in to this shaman she works with-"
Dont even ask, I thought.
"And he said there is an evil spirit attached to the stone, so I took it off."
"Give it to me," I told her."I will evict the ghost."
I said this because
A. I don't believe in the supernatural.
B. I really want to see something supernatural.
"Oh we've seen ghosts," she said."My whole family saw one once.'
Hey, spirit world-why not me? What is wrong with me? Everyone I know has some stupid ghost story and all I have to counter with is-"One time me and my ex boyfriend had a similar dream on the same night."
It's so embarrassing.
Why can't I see some bullshit? And don't tell me it's because I don't believe, because I used to believe in EVERYTHING. You could tell me that in our past lives I owed you five dollars and I'd start pulling bills out of my purse. I was so gullible a man once convinced me that he flew around in his sleep having conversations with my pug dog, Jack.
"What did Jack say?' I asked."Is he happy?"
"He wants you to change his food." the man said.
So I did.
So why can't I see some bullshit?
Maybe this haunted necklace will wreak some havoc. An EVIL ghost-surely more powerful than some ordinary, nice one. More likely to pull my child into the white static on the TV or rattle the dishes, trying to communicate it's evil plans to me. Or just scare me, if it's evil then I'm sure it loves to scare a bitch, right?
She gave it to me, an ordinary labadorite stone. I wore it home.
"What's that?" asked Jeff.
I told him.
"I don't want an evil spirit in the house Sunny."
"What? It's just a necklace, dude."
"No way," he shook his head."I saw a ghost once."
"Jesus - you too? What is wrong with me?" I asked, frustrated.
I hope that the ghost does present itself to me. Anyone have any suggestions, all you people out there with your I'm-so-superior-I've-seen-stuff attitudes?
Today I have had heartburn, but not ghostly heartburn. I've also been really cold( when spirits pass through you-it makes you shiver-so I'm told) but it's snowing here today-so..
And the lights have been dimming. I'm not making that up. They are flickering and dimming every time I walk into the room.
But it could be the weather.
That better not be the extent of it. It better not be some weak ass ghost, not even evil just slightly put out, messing with my lights but never rearing up out of the fireplace in the form of a smoke dragon, or appearing behind me covered in blood in the mirror.
How do i let the ghost know that I want to see it? Maybe it's not technically "Evil" just dark and sarcastic. I would love that kind of ghost.
"What if it's already possessed me?" I thought. Maybe that is why I have a strong craving for tomato soup.
If it really is evil, that could be okay-I could help it draw up plans for it's schemes. I don't mind.I wouldn't even mind if my hair turned white-it would save so much money-not having to worry about getting my highlights done every month.
Send me your ghost stories. If I'm going to be continually rejected by the spirit world then let me live vicariously through you.
Update on Caitlyn-
She is at home, still doing the Optimum Health Institute's detox program. She is growing her own wheatgrass juice and fasting like they teach you to do there. When she gets her blood count done again I'll post about what she learns, hopefully it will be a dramatic improvement. My aunt had to do the program for six months before her cancer went into remission, so we are trying to be patient.
Meanwhile she's decided to take time off from school to write her memoir-which I'll be helping her with as much as I can. She's a brilliant writer and her story is crazy and compelling. I'm really excited to see where it goes( my dream-she will go into complete remission, write a badass book about growing up in the foster care system and we will meet in New York at the secret published book writer's club over wheatgrass and espresso. If not, I just dream she'll get better so she can help me break into that whore's house to steal back my jacket)
For the love of God, entertain me.
2 hours ago