I think I am done being crazy.
It was only a week. But spectacular-like fireworks of Crazy-not the ones you buy from carnies on the side of the road and light in your backyard but the ones that the city pays for that fill up the whole sky and light up the skyscrapers. Where you go-damn-I can't ignore THAT.
Or watching a train wreck as it is happening but you can't stop it even though you are the one driving the train.
Just like July 4th celebrations, though, everything comes to an end.
My marriage-last May 28th
This silly, transient romance I had for a little while.
The subsequent Crazy.
National Alcoholic Month (2 more days)
Biggie Smalls and Tupac
America's fascination with the Space Program(be honest-you don't give a shit about that)
The only thing that is never-ending, will never die, even after the Rapture(actually ESPECIALLY after the Rapture) is Wal-Mart. It never even closes. 24/7 year round. It will continue long after you and I are dead. When computers and cell phones become self aware and take over the earth, after exterminating us, they will go to Wal-Mart for their hot pink scented pine cones and flannel Dr. Pepper print pajama bottoms.
I hate wal Mart but I do like going there late at night because it feels like a post-apocolyptic zombie movie.
And _although I am horrified by that Crazy of last week-I feel okay about it now.
Clearly not meant to be.
I like being alone.
And I am in love with my house.
Ruby this week--
R- "I saw a fairy just now."
Me- "What was she doing?"
R- "She was doing her taxes."
Me- "Mommy needs to do that too. Can the fairy help me."
R-"No. She's already forgetted how."
Me-"That's unfortunate. Can you say 'extension'?
R- " Stop talking to me. I'm tasting the wind."
This morning she saw a bird sitting on a chair next to the freeway who had big big boobies.
As we passed a cemetery she asked me to take her there instead of to school.
R-"I want you to show me where your Grandma is buried."
Me- "Why?"
R-"Because then I will dig, dig and dig until I find her and drag her out and make her come back to life with my fairy wand."
Me-"That might just turn her into a zombie"
R-"That's ok. Zombies are slow. But they do eat brains."
Maybe that would work. What do I know?
This morning when "Juan" dropped her off he asked her to go inside so we could "talk"
She totally didn't, squeezing that poor cat by the neck and arguing about why she should get to participate in the conversation.
"Go inside." I said.
"No."
"I will take the kitty away for ten minutes."
She just sat there.
Juan got really annoyed.
"If this was my house she would already be in time out."
"Hey guess what? This isn't your house." I said. Smug bastard.
We finally got her to sit on the porch and I just walked him to the car so we could talk.
"I'm allergic to that cat by the way" he sneezed."I have allergy attacks every time we leave here."
"Maybe you should quit smoking if you have asthma. Then quit complaining about everything. Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?"
"No. Last night she wouldn't stop saying 'Fucking Truck" over and over again. I assume that's you?"
"No, it's not me. Because now that you're not the boss of me anymore I made my truck into an art car. I would never say 'Fucking truck'. I love my truck." That is true by the way."Besides when I fuck up and something slips out it's usually 'God damn it" like when I stub my toe or lose my credit card. And she never says that. Maybe it's your girlfriend."
He is so annoyed at me now.
"Nice parenting."
"Oh right I forgot. You are perfect. Even when you are sucking a dick, they say this is perfect!"
"Okay I'm going now."
"Bye!" I waved sweetly.
It is getting better though. We are switching days up so I can go out of town, and I'm watching her when she's out of school so he doesn't get fired. Which is nice.
But any interaction that is not through text or email disintegrates into hostility.
Most of the time it's pretty funny. At least to me. I try not to laugh because that infuriates him and his face turns red. Which makes me laugh harder-like at funerals sometimes when its so tense and serious that you start laughing and the more you try to stop the more you laugh and you try to hide it but your shoulders still shake and people turn around and narrow their eyes at you but you still cant stop?
Yeah. It's like that.
